Boys Of the 80's

Okay, so Im guility. I'm guility of turning my back on this blog. As much as I adore those wonderful years of my childhood, my attention has been turned to something even more important. Not just my three daughter's childhoods, but an upcoming childhood that has a due date of August 1st, 2011. (Which, by the way, happens to be my 2 year wedding anniversary!) Oh yeah, I'm completely a preggo now but the best news of all came to me during my 20 week ultrasound. It's a boy! I have never been so excited to see a penis in all my life. (Although that time alone with my man after a brief jail sentence comes in pretty close. Isn't funny how extreme your homones can get once you're incarcerated? Anyhow... that's a different story entirely.) Well, I'm still in complete all that I will be having a son! For some unknown reason to me, I've always wanted a son. Now that my deepest desire is finally coming true, I'm looking back on some of the male characters during my childhood that I grew up adoring. Maybe the way I grew to idolize them subconsciously contributed to this desire for me to have a boy. Who knows though? My mind is a scary and confusing mess. Nevertheless, here's a tribute to some of the boys/men that I grew up loving.


"Max Headroom"

Max Headroom. What can I say about him? I never understood him in the least bit. I knew nothing of Max until one July day when I was at my town's annual Catholic Festival which was a carnival. What better way to honor a saint with beer gardens & the Carnie's ass cracks that semped out of their pants. For one full week in July, the carnival's home is planted across the street from St. Joesph's Church and people are able to dance to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" that blares through the near by speakers and sinfully shake their flesh right outside of Holy ground. If you were a kid during that time, the carnival was the place to be. Anyhow, I ended up convincing my dad to try to win me a game on one of those carnie games that are impossible to win at. Somehow, he succeeded & I was awarded with two framed pictures: One of Spuds Mackenzie & the other Max Headroom. I didn't know nothing about Max except that I had seen him with a can of coke on T.V. I hung the frame up in my bedroom & grew a crush on that electronic man. I just thought he was the coolest. And then I rented his film, "Max Headroom: 20 Minutes Into the Future." After seeing it & a head exploding scene, I was more confused than ever about Max. I'm glad I left him in my memory as the way he looked then & that he didn't grow old like the rest of us. 

  

"Mouth" from Goonies

Goonies was and still is one of my favorite movies. I may be agnostic but I still pray randomly that no one will ever come out with a remake of "The Goonies" because they will simply ruin a classic. (I cringe thinking about it because I picture them doing a remake and throwing Hilary Duff and Miley Cyrus in there.) I don't think I was the only 80's kid who would search for buried treasure after watching this movie. As for the characters, I liked them all, (except Troy), but Mouth always stood out to me. He was obnixious, funny, cute and taught us all that tongues could be on the menu. He also could fit a mile long pearl necklace in his mouth in addition to a handful of gems!

"John Bender" from "The Breakfast Club"

Another timeless movie classic. As a kid, I didn't have the priviledge to see the uncensored verision of this movie. My mom recorded the T.V verison, which was the first time "The Breakfast Club" was televised. It was hilarious now that I know the "real" verison. The "Eat my Shorts" remark was changed to "Eat My socks." That remark, as most of us 80's children know, was made by John Bender, (Better known as Bender), towards Principle "Dick" Vernon. Bender was totally awesome because he was a rebel. Besides making a popular  goodie two shoes rich girl fall in love with him before the end of the day, he also pissed the principle off to the extend that he would still seek revenge after his teen, school years were over.

"Poindexter"

Who can forget about "Revenge of The Nerds"? We'll never forget how those geeks from Lamanda Lamanda Lamanda "got bush." The only reason that Poindexter got onto this list is because I seemed to be a warped child & would occassionally get crushes on the weirdest men. A good example of this would be when the family & I went to Disney World on vacation & I grew a serious crush on Goofy. Seriously,.. no shit,... Goofy. (No wonder when I grew up I always landed the wackiest guys. I mean, look at my psychodite husband for God Sake.

But, then again... I'm not all that sane either.)

 Revenge of The Nerds brought forth some interesting characters like Gilbert, Wormser, & Bogger though none of them sparked my interests like Poindexter did when he did that little penis thrusting dance. Me being a kid, knew nothing of sex but from the look on Poindexter's date's face I thought it had to be sexy. (I was a very naive child.) The ending to me is what did in the small crush that formed towards Poindexter for me when I saw him playing his cool sounding violin while sporting a mohawk. To this day, I still love that scene of the movie. Who wouldn't love a black gay man rapping & break dancing with a 12 year old preverted kid with an all nerd band?

(By the way, I thought the old Max Headroom was sad, here's what Timothy Busfield, aka "Poindexter", looks like now in his 50's.....

 (Now how sad is that one?)


                 "New Kids on The Block"

I almost ashamed to write this one but then again I am talking about guys I adored in my childhood, not nowadays. Then again though, what girl in the 80's or early 90's didn't love that early version of InSync? You can tell if you were a girl child of the 80's if you still can remember all their names: Jordan, Joey, Jonathan, Donnie, & of course the one that nobody liked, Danny. I had crushes on each & every one of them.... well, except Danny of course. I do remember at one point towards the end of my NKOTB love affair, staring at one of their posters on my wall, focusing on Danny, & asking myself in thought, "Why haven't I had a crush on Danny yet?" I almost felt guility that me being a true NKOTB fan that I at one time had a crush on every band member except Danny. I think I even tried to force myself to like Danny but it never worked. All I could come up with is pity for the poor fool.




So, that's it for my boys of the 80's Tribute. And in closing, only 8 more weeks to go till I get my little boy.... the one that I love the most!

A

"Atticus Archer"... Coming soon...